These days I find it so hard to work on anything other than computer stuff. I really want to work on myself, but the only productive thing I achieve throughout the day is something to do with code. I feel like I just don’t have the energy to do anything. For example, I want to spend a lot of time exercising, but the most I can manage is some light stretching, that too, not every day.
There was a time in college, during my second year, that I was super productive in many different ways. I used to go for swimming early morning, then for college lectures, then I used to go for Japanese classes in the evening. I used to spend a lot of the time studying and working on lab work, assignments, etc.
I was in a film-making club in my second year and then in a computer hacking club in my third year, where I spent so much time learning how to hack through CTFs. When I couldn’t go for swimming, I spent time playing tennis with a friend. And when both tennis and swimming were out question, I did yoga.
And it never felt tiring. I had fun while I did all these things.
I like to believe that I am a personal growth person. I would rather work on my physical and mental health, than work on making excess money. That’s just who I am (or rather, was). And I don’t know how to get out of this rut. Every day there is a moment of hope, when I do something for my personal growth, and then that hope disappears as I collapse into the bed.
I’ve read countless things online about the situation I’m in. I don’t know whether I’m in this because of the pandemic, or if I was bound to end up this way sooner or later. I do think that the pandemic is a huge factor, since I haven’t been able to play any sport because of it. The options are limited and I’m personally not too fond of the gym.
Anyway, that’s it for my rant. As for next steps, I believe one thing that is going to help me is planning my day. I used to do that a lot. I learnt it from a book called “How to be a Straight A Student” which had some real gems, but overall wasn’t that good of a book. Anyway, that book had a section in which they told you to “plan every minute” of the day. I guess that’s what I’ll have to do now.
Making two lists of things helps: one for things I have to do everyday (learning a new language, going for a walk, etc.), the other for things that just appear out of nowhere (buying a handwash, doing laundry, etc.) and then you just use the items in those two lists to plan your day.
Let’s see how it goes.